While plenty of home buyers and sellers are single, partnered or married without children, those who do have kids often have extra needs when moving. Thirty-five percent of all buyers in 2019 had children under age 18, according to the National Association of Realtor’s® 2019 Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers, while 33% of sellers had children under age 18. But in many areas the percentage of clients who have children could be much higher.

Whether your family clients are buyers or sellers, NAR’s 2019 Moving with Kids report offers some insight into the preferences of this niche market. Nearly 90 percent of buyers, whether they have children or not, worked with a real estate agent for their purchase. The NAR data also show that most sellers worked with an agent, with 82% with children and 81% of sellers without children choosing an agent to provide a broad range of services and manage most aspects of the sale.

EMOTIONAL FACTORS OF MOVING WITH A FAMILY

Experienced agents know they function almost as a therapist when advising their clients through a real estate transaction. That emotional support can be even more important to families with children who are nervous or unhappy about moving to a new home.

“First, I look at who is having the most problems with the move,” says Adriene Pessel, a Realtor® with Century 21 New Millennium in Alexandria. “Typically, it’s the person who doesn’t immediately have something to look forward to in the move and views the move as a loss. For example, one spouse might be moving for a job promotion, while the other is trying to determine their new purpose in the move.”

"[The] focus on schools and neighborhoods presents a challenge to real estate agents, who must be careful to avoid any violation of Fair Housing Laws while providing guidance to clients."

Sometimes a child is upset by the prospect of leaving their friends, school or teammates.

Pessel advises her clients to use “I feel” statements as opposed to “you” when talking about an upcoming move. “This helps the spouse or the child understand your perspective without making the other person feel defensive,” says Pessel. “Change isn’t easy. It can be difficult for everyone involved. The important thing is to work as a team.”

If the child is the one having a hard time dealing with the transition, Pessel says it helps to get them excited about something in their new home or their new town. She recommends focusing on new adventures and possibly new interests.

“I worked with a family who walked their children past their soon-to-be- home, which was a little larger and only one-fourth of a mile away, to get them acclimated to the idea that they’d be moving,” says Loretta Gray, a Realtor® with Long & Foster Real Estate in Alexandria. “I think the strategy depends on the kids, the new place, the old place and how parents present it.”

For families making a long-distance move, it can help to remember that they can always stay in touch with their hometown.

“I tell my sellers who are moving out of state that no matter where you go in life, this will be here – this neighborhood, this town, your family, your friends,” says Jeddie Busch, a Realtor® with Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage in Reston. “We will always have our memories, and it’s time to go make more at their new home. I also let them know that the next owner will be a wonderful steward to the beautiful home they built.”

CHALLENGES FOR BUYERS AND BUYER’S AGENTS

Including older children in the process of identifying a wish list and “must haves” for their new home can smooth the transition, recommends Jillian Hogan, a Realtor® with McEnearney Associates in Alexandria.

“Their knowing that they can use their voice and that their agent is taking the time to listen to their concerns can help make the whole process easier and a much more enjoyable experience,” says Hogan.

For many parents, child care costs have a significant impact on their housing budget. A recent study by Freddie Mac found that the price of child care (when adjusted for inflation) increased by 49% over the past 25 years, while housing costs for rental and homeownership only increased by 14% during that same timeframe. Unfortunately, the burden of child care costs is highest in the Washington, D.C. area, requiring an average of 19.3 percent of median income. There isn’t much a real estate agent can do to relieve that burden, but it may be worthwhile to discuss that cost and child care options with clients during the initial consultation about their housing budget.

While buyers with and without children face some of the same challenges related to inventory and affordability, NAR’s research found that buyers with children place a far greater emphasis on the quality and location of the schools when choosing a neighborhood for their home search. Fifty-three percent of buyers with children said that the quality of the school district is an important factor when choosing a home, compared to just 10% of buyers without children at home. That focus on schools and neighborhoods presents a challenge to real estate agents, who must be careful to avoid any violation of Fair Housing Laws while providing guidance to clients.

“I sit down for a brief interview before taking buyers out, either by phone, Facetime or face-to-face, to go through their payment options, qualifications and lender preapproval,” says Cris Curtis, a Realtor® with Century 21 New Millennium in White Plains, Md. “I take notes on their hot buttons and what they’re looking for in a home and community. Most buyers are very savvy and have already done their research on locations.”

Busch says she always recommends that buyers drive around a prospective neighborhood to get a feel for the community.

“This way, the buyers are doing the legwork, not the agent,” says Busch.

Pessel says she reminds clients that she’s not allowed to give an opinion about the safety of an area or about whether a house is in a “good” school district. She suggests checking local police logs or a data site such as Watchdog.com or another independent resource for crime information.

“When it comes to finding a school, parents can get very passionate, so I encourage them to make a list of what’s important to them and their child’s needs,” says Pessel. “Is there any particular educational direction they want, such as language immersion, IB or AP classes, sports, etc.? Once they have that list, they can fine tune it and do the homework on different schools.”

Hogan recommends a variety of independent and county websites that provide test scores, information about programs at individual schools and data about school rankings and satisfaction.

“Another option is connecting our clients with past clients and friends who may already have experience in a certain neighborhood or school district, so they can speak to one another about their concerns,” says Hogan.

Gray recommends that buyers schedule an appointment with a principal or assistant principal to get a better feel for a school and its atmosphere. As she says, “People teach children, not numbers.”

“I always direct my clients to school district websites to get a picture of what schools are out there and what programs each school offers,” says Susie Klein, a Realtor® with The Goodhart Group with Compass real estate brokerage in Alexandria. “I then suggest they use social media to find out more about the school community. Many PTAs have Facebook pages that promote the happenings in the school. There are also neighborhood groups where a buyer can find out more about the community and satisfaction with the school.”

CHALLENGES FOR SELLERS AND LISTING AGENTS

Families are often overwhelmed with work, school and kids’ activities, so adding a move in the mix can be difficult.

“I explain to parents that in order to get the top end of their price point or a full price offer, we need to spend the time or money to be sure the home is showing at its absolute best,” says Curtis. “For example, it may cost $200 to $400 to have someone clean and organize for you, but if you don’t, it could cost thousands in a lower asking price.”

Among the biggest challenges for sellers moving with kids is staging the house and maintaining a pristine condition to attract buyers.

“I ask that almost all the toys, with the exception of one large storage bin filled with their favorites, be put into storage,” says Busch. “The children can bring out this large bin between showings. If a showing is requested, then all the toys, books, etc. can be easily thrown into this bin and put into a storage room or garage.”

Pessel suggests designating one room as the playroom to keep the rest of the house completely toy-free. If that doesn’t work, she encourages families to rent a storage unit during the move.

“The amount of kids’ belongings will help determine if attic storage, a storage unit rental or a POD is the best option,” says Hogan. “Helping your kids pick out their favorite things in different categories, such as dolls, art supplies, large toys and books, allows them to be part of the process and gives them the chance to make the decision on what stays and what will be meeting them in their next home.”

If possible, Hogan suggests that sellers put their home on the market close to the end of the week and take a vacation to ease the frustration of needing to leave often during the popular first weekend on the market.

Depending on their age, it can be tough to get kids to cooperate with the frustrations of selling, such as keeping their rooms clean and frequently leaving the house.

“With younger kids, I kneel and ask if they have any ideas for how they can help keep the house clean,” says Pessel. “This helps the child feel like they’re part of the process and lets them think they’re coming up with these things on their own. That encourages them to do their part.”

Older kids usually understand why they need to help, but Pessel says incentivizing kids works at any age.

“I suggest having the kids work off a token system for keeping the house clean while the home is on the market,” says Busch. “They can earn poker chips for completed chores, so when a showing is requested, they can take the kids out for ice cream or have them ‘spend’ their tokens at a store.”

Sometimes the agent is the one providing incentives to get kids to cooperate.

“I had a family with four children ages 7 to 14 and a nearly wild poodle move from a little home to a big home,” says Gray. “At the end of the process, I fulfilled my promise and gave them gift cards for doing everything I asked of them. It worked out great and everyone was happy.”

NAR’s research found that sellers with children are more likely to need to sell their home urgently (23%) compared to sellers with no children at home (14%). The top three priorities for sellers with children were for their agents to sell within a specific timeframe, to help price the home competitively and to market the home.

Most buyers and sellers with children found their agent by referral, so providing emotional and practical support for your clients with families can lead to a growing network of clients.





Michele Lerner, a freelance writer based in the Washington, D.C. area, has been writing about real estate and personal finance for more than 20 years.